I've lost my perriwinkle?

One lost one's perriwinkle ohn one's weay mansiohn mwah mwah sweetie schoohl aftah twoh young ruffians came up to myself and tied myself to ah fence. ah passing hoboh let myself jolly well goh and one legged it mansiohn crying. should one call the police ohn the hoboh for touching myself? Oh stop it! You tease!